Starting Off the New Year

Greetings, Readers! Happy 2015 to you (I still have a few more days to wish you a Happy New Year, don’t I). I have to admit that I resonate a lot more with ancient culture wisdom traditions and beginning the “real” new year with the Spring Equinox, coming this year on March 20. I mean, we are still technically in the dead of winter, even if it is about 70 F / 21 C today in Northern Colorado. It’s a high altitude plains thing, these temperature swings. In another couple of weeks we could be back to 32 F / 0 C, or even colder. Just the way that Colorado rumbles.

Taken in the Parc des Buttes Chaumont, March 30, 2012

Taken in the Parc des Buttes Chaumont, Paris — March 30, 2012

Anyway, as I was saying, I appreciate the ancient wisdom of understanding a new year really begins with the sun moving into the sign of Aries, with the Spring Equinox, and with all the energy that sprouts in springtime. I happened to stumble across the above springtime photo in my Dropbox files today when looking for something else (I have not touched my dropbox files in months!). Such a pretty yellow flower. Although I am terrible at identifying flowers, Google reminds me this is indeed a forsythia. Forsythia bushes are all over the Parc des Buttes Chaumont and herald the emergence of spring.

I can’t wait for this springtime energy to arrive because, frankly, I feel frozen in my situation and need a thaw and flow of better circumstances to arrive.

My last post was a month before Christmas, right at Thanksgiving, and with good reason: retail is busy during the holiday season. Also, on December 21 (I remember because it was the Solstice), I came down with the flu, and between working retail and recovering from that, blog writing was low on the To-Do List. Then there is also the lack of Internet access (still) at home. I still have to go to Starbucks or the library (where I am now) to write blogs (I cannot bear to compose them on the iPhone. It’s hard enough writing emails on it!). I make it to one of those locations about once a week, but between replying to emails and job hunting, blog writing again falls low on that list of things to be doing.

My little boy and I had a lovely Christmas together. The only thing is that the jig is up re: Santa Claus and his existence. My son’s father elected to tell our son, after he’d finished opening his presents from Santa, that Santa was not real. Apparently, my ex decided that nine years old was old enough to no longer believe and so he broke the news to our kid. This was all shared with me after it was my turn to propagate the ruse, once I picked up my son at noon on Christmas Day and he opened up his gifts from Santa that had “arrived” at my parents’ home. My son said that he was shocked and disappointed by the news, but he had recovered sufficiently to have a kind of pragmatism about it all, and now accepts bearing the responsibility of carrying the Spirit of Christmas Joy to ones younger (and older) than him who still believe. This is a public forum, so I’ll not get too much into how I feel (AHEM), but I wish that there had been a more child-guided and gradual emergence into my son’s discovery of the realities of Santa instead of his father taking the reigns and deciding this for our son outright.

But what is done is done, and J and I have decided that we will still choose to believe. Santa will still come next year.

(Oh dear. I hope I have not ruined the news for any of you! ;-) )

Since then, my working hours have dwindled to 10 per week — post-holiday slow-down in retail. I’m job hunting, still, but opportunities also seem few and far between at this time of year.

I’m pretty much keeping mentally afloat by watching “Caprica” (the SyFy channel prequel to “Battlestar Galactica”) on my tiny phone at night, reading books like Paris Letters by Janice McLeod and The Treasure of Montségur by Sophy Burnham (a re-read for me — I read it the first time in Paris around six years ago). My parents insist on having regular “State of the state of Karin” meetings, which to me feel highly critical and have the tone of “what is WRONG with you that you don’t have a full time job, yet?” and the brunt of the not-so-much-of-an economic recovery rests squarely on my shoulders.

So I resort to daydreaming a lot, still. I dream of my tiny house, of being a happy hippie in a community of like-minded people (who do not watch certain American “news” stations), and of having a job where I can wear my hippie clothes garnered from Goodwill and no one will give a second glance. I’m happily working away at tasks that make me feel contentment (no idea what that is, but in my daydreams I’m having a lot of fun while working), and I’m very pleased with a minimalist lifestyle where all my basic needs are met. It’s my own personal utopian vision. :-)

I feel these dreams will carry me to where I need to go; they are not useless musings with no real power. They will bear me to a better station in life, as long as I keep them in my mind and heart and take what steps I see before me to make them happen.

I’m not sure if blog writing will work to those ends, hahaha. But here I am anyway because I like it.

January also held some very tragic events in Paris. Many have eloquently written about those events already. I don’t want to add to the chorus except to say that I was shocked to discover that the initial carjacking after the shootings at the offices of Charlie Hebdo happened in my old neighborhood, on the street passing to the south of my building, and only just around the corner and three streets down, near a Tabac where I sometimes bought cigarettes back in the days when I smoked in Paris. It was not just Paris and France that were touched by these events, but places intimate to my spirit and to my daily life. It felt a lot to me like when the Columbine High School shootings happened in Colorado in April 1999. Columbine was just a few miles from the high school where I went from 1982 to 1986, and had the exact same floor plan as there were three high schools in the county where I attended school that used these same plans. It all hit so close to home.

I guess all I shall say further is that it is my deepest wish that these events do not result in the squelching of freedom of speech and freedom of the press.

I wish that all of us on this planet earth could live by the creed of “Primum non nocere,” but there are those whom I think are so damaged by traumas and propaganda to really see the wisdom in doing so. It’s not an easy thing to do for any of us humans who consciously know we are in a constant struggle with the selfish and self-centered aspects of our egos. Still, it all does begin at home, doesn’t it. So be nice to someone today, especially someone to whom it is hard for you to be nice. I can promise you that I am doing my best to do the same. ;-)

Over and out and still looking for ballast,

Karin

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7 Comments

  1. Janet

     /  January 28, 2015

    Here’s to dreaming when reality is letting you down!

    Reply
  2. Maria

     /  January 29, 2015

    Dearest Karin,

    Shall I wait for the sun to move into the sign of Aries to wish you the very best for 2015?
    I don’t think so.
    I’m soo happy to hear you and your little boy had a wonderful Christmas! I’m also happy to know that you still believe in Santa Claus. I still do too………

    “A woman ‘s greatness is measured by the size of her dreams”
    Who said that? I no longer remember, but, they will eventually carry you exactly where you need to go.

    Thank you so much for such a perfect post. You’re a great writer.

    Love always,
    Maria O. Russell

    Reply
    • Hi Maria! At last I got to Starbucks again after you wrote your comment to be able to type on a proper keyboard. ;-)

      Of course I will accept Gregorian Calendar New Year wishes. Thank you! :D But I am excited for springtime to arrive, maybe because I am a Taurus and will have my solar return very soon. LOL.

      Santa Claus is a perfect spirit to help our dreams and wishes come true I’ll try to keep that belief going no matter what. Julian (my son) was so happy to go out to buy (guess what?) more Legos with some of his money he received for Christmas. What a little Lego addict! ;-) And they were “Minecraft” Legos, too, haha.

      I Googled the quote up there, and in a quick search did not find who said that, but look at what I did find! http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/greatness.html

      Some great and very inspirational quotes there. Very cool!

      I’m so glad you enjoyed the post. After all these years of writing blog posts, I think I finally found a “groove” of writing just enough but not too much, and I am so glad that the words touched you. Thank you for being such a wonderful supporter. ♥♥♥

      Love back to you, Maria!
      xx
      Karin

      Reply
  3. Maria

     /  March 17, 2015

    Helloooo!

    ¿Todo bien, Karyncita? :-)
    And how are your children?

    Looks like in certain parts of the world, flowers and leaves are obediently opening up!
    And how is flora (and why not fauna) behaving in the land of love? I know how much you look forward to spring!

    I have been reading a little of your enchanting old blog, it says “closed”…but of course…we can choose certain words out of our vocabulary, because ignoring them…is not a choice…….

    Just checking with you, dear Karyn!
    Friendship is my religion…..
    Un gran abrazo:
    Maria

    Reply
    • Hi Maria! I hope you will see this nearly one month later. :-)

      Oh, things have been challenging this spring, but with spring comes Change, and I feel the seeds planted in the fall will soon harvest as we get closer to the Summer Solstice!

      My youngest is doing really well. His father put him into lacrosse, which annoyed me at first (I’m just not a “sportif” person, as they say I’m French), but I see the good results for our son and so I’m slightly more amenable to it.

      I love this: “Friendship is my religion.” Mine, too, my friend!

      Huge hugs back to you, and FORGIVE ME for my late, late reply!!

      Love,
      Karin

      (P.S. Maybe I’ll blog again soon, too! I’ve been so terrible about it! But, lack of Internet, still, is an issue — I’m pecking this response with one finger on my iPhone. I love the tech, right at my literal fingertips, but much as I try, I cannot effectively write posts on my phone, lol!)

      Reply
  4. Maria

     /  April 15, 2015

    Good Morning, Karin!

    So happy to know you and J are doing fine.
    I had no idea what lacrosse was, but with the help of Wiki, now I do. Sounds great!

    Thank you so much for your wonderful message, dear Karin. And there’s nothing to forgive!
    I know what it means to be without WiFi. Yikes!

    Until another day, then.
    Love always,
    Maria

    Reply

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