Starting Off the New Year

Greetings, Readers! Happy 2015 to you (I still have a few more days to wish you a Happy New Year, don’t I). I have to admit that I resonate a lot more with ancient culture wisdom traditions and beginning the “real” new year with the Spring Equinox, coming this year on March 20. I mean, we are still technically in the dead of winter, even if it is about 70 F / 21 C today in Northern Colorado. It’s a high altitude plains thing, these temperature swings. In another couple of weeks we could be back to 32 F / 0 C, or even colder. Just the way that Colorado rumbles.

Taken in the Parc des Buttes Chaumont, March 30, 2012

Taken in the Parc des Buttes Chaumont, Paris — March 30, 2012

Anyway, as I was saying, I appreciate the ancient wisdom of understanding a new year really begins with the sun moving into the sign of Aries, with the Spring Equinox, and with all the energy that sprouts in springtime. I happened to stumble across the above springtime photo in my Dropbox files today when looking for something else (I have not touched my dropbox files in months!). Such a pretty yellow flower. Although I am terrible at identifying flowers, Google reminds me this is indeed a forsythia. Forsythia bushes are all over the Parc des Buttes Chaumont and herald the emergence of spring.

I can’t wait for this springtime energy to arrive because, frankly, I feel frozen in my situation and need a thaw and flow of better circumstances to arrive.



It’s Only Just a Bistro

Greetings, Readers.

Well, y’all. I got a job. It’s in retail, 20-25 hours per week, for $8.25 an hour. It is not what I hoped to be doing and because I am a big believer in “fake it ‘til you make it,” I am doing all right, but I really don’t want to be doing it, even still. Honestly, while I thought taking the job at a well-known retailer geared towards families — an offshoot of a famous San Francisco clothing company — was going to quell the household dissent (see previous post), it did for only about five minutes. And then the dialogue shifted to, “It’s not enough. You need to do more.” *siiiiiiigh*

I’m working on it. Have some ideas up my sleeve. But that is not what I want the focus to be for this post. Something much more interesting is going on in my head and I want to share what it is. It has to do with this photo here:

Le Bistrot Gourmand as seen from the film "Just a Sigh."

Le Bistrot Gourmand as seen from the film “Just a Sigh.”

This is a screen shot from my iPhone 5s of the film «Le temps de l’aventure» (“Just a Sigh” in English), starring French actress Emmanuelle Devos and Irish actor Gabriel Byrne. It’s from approximately minute 37 in the film although this bistro figures prominently from about minute 32 in the film.

I have stood exactly where Ms. Davos is walking in the photo above.


A story has as many versions…

A story has as many versions as it has readers. ~ John Steinbeck

A story has as many versions as it has readers. ~ John Steinbeck

Greetings, Readers.

I’m back at the public library, ten days since my last post, to fill out more job applications as no more interviews have been granted up to now. I just wrote this to a good friend:

I’m trying really hard not to give even a centimeter of space to desperation and panic, but of course it is a fact that those thoughts can be like flies I have to swat away and make sure they don’t come into my head. I feel like I am trying to swim in the ocean and my arms are getting really, really tired. I need the rescue boat (a job) to come and fish me out so I can get back to dry land and build my house. I really do not want to drown.

My mental flyswatter works better some days than others, and depending on how the weather is, sometimes I feel like an ultra-survivor. I am Piscine Molitor Patel in the boat with Richard Parker [ref.] and I know it’s all going to be just fine because my wits are with me.

But then there are the days where the flyswatter feels full of holes and the flies are extra thick, and I’ve fallen out of the boat, it’s storming, and I am choking on water.

Part of the changing landscape of my emotions and therefore how the journey is going is connected with the story that I believe about myself in any given moment. When I saw this quote from Steinbeck outside of the library the other day, I snapped a photo of it with my iPhone because I thought, “Well isn’t that true, Mr. Steinbeck. Well-played.”


Let’s Catch Up, Shall We?

Greetings, Readers.

Welcome back. I’ve got stuff on my mind and need a place to put it. A blog seems as good as any other place to do that. It’s why I’ve been doing it on and off for over eleven years.

But in that decade-plus, things have changed, you know? We’re inundated with information with millions of blogs out there in the blogiverse. And we are vulnerable with putting things online, things that can’t disappear entirely once we do put things there. This sometimes makes honesty hard, and it has to be couched, fluffed up with cushions, so as not to harm ourselves or others via those who would pry and prey.

For me, blogging has always been about the need to communicate, to capture in words something of the human condition, and somewhat anonymously share (as much as I chose, in theory) those thoughts with others on virtual paper. I honestly don’t get the “branding of one’s image” with a blog or using a blog for personal financial gain — not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that. So many people have successfully done just those things and my hat is off to them!

But for me, it’s the writing that matters, and the sharing of ideas in a free-enterprise setting. And frankly, while I care about people and care for the friendships I have made via blogging, really don’t care how many people are reading or not reading. If even ONE person reads and starts nodding his or her head and responds in his/her mind or in a comment with, “I GET that,” I’d be pleased as punch! And many, many of you have done that through the years. So thank you. Hats off to you for sticking with me and reading and responding.